Summer Days Driftin Away
While the common reflex is to groan at the thought of summer being over, I actually feel an array of emotions. Truth is, I always have an overflowing amount of emotions that surface the days leading up to our first day back at work. While I feel the common sorrow and dread of the freedom with my children about to end, I also feel the anticipated joy and excitement of a whole new year with all new students and all God has in store. Even as I enter into my ninth year at my school and tenth year overall in the classroom, the same thoughts and feelings bubble up as summer ends and a new school year begins.
If it isn’t yet obvious, I am one that has a lot of feelings and has to process them. I am like that crying girl on Mean Girls who says, “I just have a lot of feelings.” So to lay it all out there, here are my bubbling over thoughts as the summer days fade away. First, I question whether I made the most of my summer or if I wasted it. Then to answer that question, I talk myself through all of the things that took place since day one of summer. If someone is actually reading this, you can skip the next few lines as I describe my summer. It’s mainly for myself but you’re welcome to read along if you wish…
On day one of summer, we moved out of our old home and into our new home then immediately left. We spent the entire month of June in and out of our new home, only spending a few days at a time then leaving again to visit family or go on vacations. We had a fantastic time with our families and I wouldn’t have traded that quality time for anything. However, everytime we returned home, we were living out of suitcases and our house looked like a hoarder’s home with boxes, furniture, clothes, toys, decor, and more just thrown about. But by the grace of God, tons of hard work, and lots of help from my mama, we have been able to get our house looking and feeling like a home. There is still a lot to do, but looking back to the way it was that first day of summer compared to now, I would say that I definitely made the most of my summer. I am so grateful and blessed to have a job that allows me to have the summers off to be with my family and be able to put my focus and energy into other things for a bit. But that time is coming to an end and it’s now time to start shifting my focus and energy to school.
After I remind myself of how my summer was full of valuable memories, I then begin to feel that bittersweet feeling as I think about it ending. I will miss spending every second with my children. This summer, especially, has been the best with my kids as they are finally old enough to interact together. We have loved traveling as a family and playing in our new home and backyard together. While it saddens me to think that is coming to an end, I also feel excited for them to return to their little classrooms to learn and play. Both of my kiddos love to be active, play with friends, and learn new things. From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed, they go full force. They have more energy than the energizer bunny, never stopping except to sleep. As much as I love being with them every day, they need an outlet for their active bodies and curious minds. What better place to offer that than school? I will still probably cry when they return, but I am so excited to see how much they learn and grow. Not to mention, it’s our son’s last year in preschool which is a whole other set of emotions for this mama. But as this school year begins, all I can feel is blessed to send our kids to the most loving and caring dayschool. However, as I think about our babies playing happily at school, my mind then decides to take a leap away from their classrooms and jumps right into the thick of my own classroom.
Where to even begin with the thoughts and emotions that arise when thinking of my upcoming school year. There is always some anxiety as I think about everything that needs to be accomplished in a short amount of time. There is also anticipation as I think about who my upcoming students will be: their names, personalities, interests, skills, struggles, behaviors, families, home lives, etc. The list goes on. Then those thoughts lead to an overwhelming sense of responsibility. There is the weight of not only educating my kids but also helping to mold and shape their character, spark and feed their interests, and nurture and care for their personal needs. Teaching is a roller coaster ride full of challenges, success, frustration, progress, exhaustion, and exhilaration. It is a heavy responsibility, but one worth carrying. As I think of the reward in the responsibility, I then feel an overwhelming sense of joy and excitement because I know God has called me to such a time as this. I wish I could share all of the ways God has revealed Himself and worked through me to help my students over the years. There are too many to count and some that will never be forgotten in all of my days. God has placed me where I am and has placed my students in my classroom for a reason.
So many feelings arise when I begin to think about what is to come as we enter a new school year. I know I am probably odd and the only teacher that weirdly feels a bunch of different emotions when school begins. But how can I not? It’s a yearly cycle of going from summer fun with family, friends, and freedom then jumping straight into the whirlwind, liveliness, and busyness of a new school year with all new students. There are highs and lows and everything in between when teaching little ones. Never a dull moment to say the least. And while these days feel bittersweet as summer ends and back to school begins, there’s truly no place I’d rather be.
Psalm 40:8
“I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart.”
Joshua 1:9
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
