Into the Unknown
To the teacher starting a new school year in the midst of a pandemic, I want you to know that you are seen. Whether you are a veteran teacher or a first year teacher, this year will be unlike any other and none of us are prepared for the unknowns. The planning and preparations for a new school year are always chaotic and overwhelming, but there is usually so much joy and excitement in the air as we get ready to welcome new smiling faces. This year is a bit different.
The planning and preparations are not only chaotic and overwhelming, they are also ever changing due to the COVID numbers in our area or new CDC guidelines. The chance of something changing at any moment gives this particular teacher heightened anxiety. I love to plan and follow through with my plans. Although I can be very adaptable and flexible with my plans, this pandemic is testing my flexible limits in every way. Masks and shields, social distancing, prohibited sharing, rarely leaving the classroom, and so much more, all while educating our students through it all. Although I believe these policies are necessary, my fear is that they will jeopardize our students’ joy of school and love for learning.
As a mom, I am also anxious for the unknowns of my toddler’s year in his day school. We have been inseparable since being quarantined five months ago, barely spending any time apart. Separation anxiety is very real and very high for my toddler right now. In all honesty, separation anxiety is high for me, as well. Tears have flowed for both of us as I left him with family to return back to work. As much as I am ready to be back at school, it is still so hard to be away from my baby boy.
Thankfully, I got to see joy in my child’s face as we attended his day school’s ‘Meet The Teacher.’ My son was so excited to be back that he immediately led us straight to his old classroom, smiling and laughing the whole way there. When we took him to his new classroom and introduced him to his new teachers, he was overjoyed. He took over that room, walking from place to place, sitting in his chair, looking at his cubby, looking at the books, playing with the toys, and obsessing over the shapes and letters on the rug. When it was time to leave, he cried all the way out the door because he didn’t want to leave.
My son’s joy and love for school brought me so much peace and calmed my anxieties about him returning to school and being away from me. I am so excited for him to be with his toddler friends and teachers and to learn both academic and social skills. He is going to love being back in school and I cannot wait to see how he grows. I am so thankful that his day school is able to still bring joy and excitement into their rooms despite all of the new policies.
Seeing my son’s excitement also made me realize that it is still possible to provide joy and love for school in my own classroom. Our students may be more anxious than normal, but they are going to be just as excited to be back at school as my son was. They are going to walk into our school doors and hope to be greeted with warm welcomes and joyful faces, despite the distancing and face coverings. They will walk into our classrooms for the first time and excitedly look around at their new home for the school year. As usual, these students will want to feel loved and supported. But more than ever, it is our job as teachers to provide that for them. Whether we are striving to follow new policies at school or attempting to have school completely virtually, our students will be looking to us for guidance, hope, encouragement, and a positive outlook on our circumstances. Yes, our policies have changed and may feel impossible to adhere to, but why do we do what we do? We are teachers because we love our students and want to help them learn, grow, and reach their maximum unique potential.
Since returning back to work for teacher work days, we have taken in an overwhelming amount of new information and yet still have a lot of unknowns due to the ever changing circumstances we are in. I am constantly reminding myself of that question, “Why do I do what I do?” Then I take a breath and think, I do it for the children. I am divinely called to teach, guide, and love these students and that is just what I am going to do. They are also anxious, overwhelmed, and confused by everything. It is my job to make them feel comforted, safe, and loved through it all. Despite what comes our way, I will be there for these babies and do my best to instill a joy and excitement for school.
This school year may seem daunting, I may be overwhelmed by all of the changes, and I may be anxious about the uncertainties and unknowns of this school year, but I will choose to trust the Lord with it all. This year is completely out of my control, so I will fix my eyes on the One who has full control. In fact, the PTO at our school provided a scripture verse on an index card for each teacher. The verse that I randomly picked happened to be just what I needed:
Psalm 145:13
“Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does.”
The Lord is trustworthy and faithful. Why do I worry? He is the Great I Am and will be everything I need this year. He will be my strength when I am exhausted, my peace when I am anxious, my comfort when I am overwhelmed, my hope when I am discouraged, my provider when I am in need, my joy when I am downcast, my help when I am helpless, my guide when I am lost, my order in the midst of the chaos. He is faithful to His promises and I will trust Him with the unknowns.
Hebrews 10:23
“Let us hold on firmly to the hope we profess, because we can trust God to keep his promise.”