What is a Balancing Act?
What exactly is “a balancing act?” When looking up its definition on the good old trusty online dictionaries, there are several meanings:
A situation in which a person tries to give care and attention to two or more activities at the same time.
An attempt to cope with several conflicting factors at the same time.
A process in which somebody tries to please two or more groups who want different things.
A circus act in which a performer displays his or her balancing ability.
These definitions ‘hit the nail on the head’ when it comes to describing mine and my family’s life! As a mom, wife, and teacher, I am constantly giving care and attention to my son, husband, and students. As a friend and family member, I am giving care and attention to the needs of those I love. As a church member and church staff wife, I am trying to give care and attention to my community of believers. As an uncoordinated exerciser, I do my best to give care and attention to my health despite my unathletic abilities. Balancing home life, work life, church life, social life, and a healthy life can be extremely overwhelming and exhausting, but oh so rewarding at the end of the day!
I love the definition that states that a balancing act is “an attempt to cope with several conflicting factors at the same time.” Man oh man, that is exactly what I feel like I am doing day in and day out. “Attempting to cope.” As someone who struggles with anxiety, coping is a skill I have been working on for years. Some days I am a master at coping, and other days you can find me in a ball under the covers. Laundry, dishes, groceries, cleaning, feeding, playing, lesson planning, teaching, grading, attending church or small groups, exercising, socializing, and the list goes on to name just a few conflicting factors I attempt to cope with every day. To further the chaos, I try to balance all of these factors while my husband attends law school, works full time doing constant church events, and plays gigs on the side. Not to mention he is an incredible full time husband and dad, as well. Don’t get me wrong; he takes on these responsibilities too and is in this balancing act with me. I am one blessed wife! But even so, I struggle with attempting to cope with the countless factors in our life.
In my world, a balancing act can also be a “process of trying to please two or more groups who want different things.” However, it’s more like ‘eight or more groups’ and it’s not just that they ‘want’ different things, but rather ‘need’ different things. My son needs to play, eat, be changed, sleep, and more. My pets need to be fed or go out. My house needs to be put in order. My lessons need to be planned and students need to be taught. My church and small groups need to be attended. My workouts need to be done. My friends and family need my care and devotion. Pleasing and caring for these groups is truly the desire of my heart. The Lord wired me to be a “Helper,” or enneagram type 2 for all you enneagram gurus. “Helpers” take pride in their ability to help others. We consider it our job. But the Lord knows that this particular “Helper” needs help of her own in order to balance her act.
I definitely view my life as a “circus act,” trying to display my balancing ability from the moment I wake up each day. I just envision myself as a tightrope walker riding a unicycle while juggling apples and holding an umbrella. Or maybe I am a plate spinner, balancing countless spinning plates on each body part while standing on one leg. The last image I like to envision is the Cat in the Hat balancing a fish and several inanimate objects while standing on a ball. As a First Grade teacher, this book is an all time favorite. Every time I read it, I see the balancing Cat as the perfect picture of my life:
“Have no fear’ said the Cat. ‘I will not let you fall. I will hold you up high as I stand on a ball.’… That is what the cat said, then he fell on his head!... From up there on the ball… We saw all the things fall!” – The Cat in The Hat by Dr. Seuss
The falling Cat in the Hat is probably not the best way to envision myself, but it’s real and raw. I go through cycles of feeling confident in my abilities to balance it all, just to find myself eventually letting all the things fall. It is not until I surrender it all to the Lord that I am able to successfully balance my act. I could write pages on how faithful He has been in my life, but I will save that for another time. For now, I simply say all this to relay the importance of my faith in all areas of my life. Balancing the various people, circumstances, and factors is impossible without the strength, peace, and wisdom of God.
Even in quarantine, I continue to try to balance the different elements of our life, but instead my anxiety is magnified by trying to balance it all from one location. Being a mom, wife, and teacher while cleaning, cooking, and exercising simultaneously is not for the faint of heart and can often times leave me feeling drained, worn out, and overtired. But when I am overwhelmed, I cling to Philippians 4:6-7, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.”
When asked how I am able to ‘do it all,’ my answer is and always will be, “By the grace of God.” If I shift my gaze just slightly, I completely lose my balance and “all the things fall.” But He picks me back up again and puts me back to work. When I fix my eyes on Christ and surrender all I have, my balancing act steadies and my life is filled with peace amidst the chaos.
My prayer is that this blog can be therapeutic not only for myself but for whomever my readers may be. I have been keeping diaries, journals, notes, and prayer journals since I learned how to write (all of which are in storage but often taken out for a good laugh). There is nothing more satisfying than getting all of my thoughts, feelings, and prayers out of my heart and onto something tangible. Instead of keeping my writing to myself, however, I have felt called to begin sharing what little I have to offer for the internet world. I do not claim to be the ‘be all, end all,’ but my hope is that in becoming vulnerable on this blog, I am able to help others who might need some encouragement, joy, or peace in their life. I am already juggling more than I can handle, so why not add a blog into the mix! Will you join me in my balancing act?